The neon of her shoelaces detracted from the seriousness of her scowl. And allowed her mean words to ring somewhat hollow. It was if she were playing a role, trying to be pissed, at the consistency of her soy based mocha latte (no whip).
Which is fine. Because it’s Friday. And I’m getting out of the city. The sun smiles down on me today. Just like it kisses her shoulders. When she wears that one particular sundress. You know the one that I mean. My body betrays me with its constant craving of cigarettes, but they tell me that too shall pass. My head betrays me by struggling between asserting independence and craving companionship. My left foot betrays me, sometimes when it’s cold, from that time I broke it in New Zealand, playing soccer on the beach with a bunch of European surf rats. My fingers betray me, with their constant pushing of the comma key on this battered, but beautifully stickered laptop.
Construction starts outside my window at 7:17 in the am. And it makes me murderous until at least 7:23. There isn’t much to say this morning, which seems to only happen when I sit down to attempt typing it. Which makes sense when there are a million things I want to say, and can only shrug and smile. With sad eyes.
It’s supposed to be mid-90s this weekend, and I will fry like a lobster. Though that may not be the proper wording. Does one fry a lobster? Bake like a lobster! That’s what I was looking for. With a side of garlic butter. And hopes and dreams for garnish. And striving to do better, to accomplish something tangible. For myself, first. But also for all those who have said I have talent, and that they believe in me. For those who’ve passed, and didn’t get the chance to live up to lofty expectations. The most beautiful words in the world are, “I have faith in you.”
But mostly for myself. I guess I’m selfish in that respect.
(and yes. that’s me in the photo above. queenstown, new zealand)