19 cent bananas

Everyone’s got their own little stress reliever/pick me up activity. And while I’d like to think mine is a fantastic amount of alcohol consumption, that usually just leads to wicked hangovers and sluggish, unproductive days. A much more positive alternative I’ve found is exercise, and more specifically pick-up basketball. I love pick-up basketball, and I play 4-5 times a week. Its usually pretty fantastic.

Now then, there is (of course) a complication to the whole experience. My complication comes in the form of banana. A 19 cent banana to be slightly more exact. You see, there is a three block walk from the train stop to my gym, and right smack in the middle of my three block walk is a Trader Joe’s, and their 19 cent bananas. Delicious, delicious 19 cent bananas.

So on pretty much a daily basis, I walk into that Trader Joes in the Hollywood District of Portland, and buy a 19 cent banana. Sometimes before basketball, sometimes after, occasionally both. I have a tough time buying bananas in bulk, and usually end of tossing one or two. The whole green to yellow versus how fast I’ll consume them equation never quite works out. The whole buying them one at a time (and for only 19 cents!) is definitely the best solution for me.

Now is for the problem part. Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, most of those healthier food stores get targeted by health conscious hippie/punk/street kid shoplifters. They use the “left hand” technique, where you hold a very cheap item and your money to pay for the cheap item in one hand and then in the other hand you have a bunch of more expensive items that you walk out with. The expensive items stay low at your side, hopefully out of sight from the cashier, and if they say anything, then you feign forgetfulness, “oh man, how could I have forgot these items in my left hand!” It’s a fairly successful technique with a little practice, or so I hear.

And I have to think that Trader Joe’s is smart enough to know about such a scam considering I read about it in a mass marketed book. So here I am with my 19 cent banana, walking up to the cashier and making a big production of showing them both of my hands, and being so obvious that it’s obvious I’m up to something. And everyone stares at this guy who’s obviously NOT shoplifting, but obviously very strange. It’s my daily guilt trip, and I haven’t even done anything wrong.

All for the love of 19 cent bananas.

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2 responses to “19 cent bananas

  1. You’re such a hooligan.

  2. I like the stuff they have, but sometimes get tired of all the pretentious shoppers. Seems to be anyone wearing spandex biking shorts in this modern day, shops at Trader Joe’s.

    I buy them 40% green. and I buy 3-4. I usually rip off the good ones from various bunches, stick them in a produce bag. I watched someone do this once and was appalled. Now I do it all the time.

    Good luck with the exercise.

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