I am absolutely fantastic at making a connection immediately before moving across the country, and Portland was no exception. I thought I could get out, I wanted to get out, I almost got out. She got there first. A friend of a friend, a cutie I’d known for nearly my entire Portland stay. There were drinks and there was dancing, shy smiles and stolen kisses. A holiday and a celebration, and that should have been that.
But as these stories tend to go, that couldn’t have been the whole story. So we talked, we texted, we chatted, we messaged. And once again, as these things tend to go, she turned out to be cooler than expected. Which turned into thinking about her more than expected, at the most unexpected of times.And my mind began to wonder. What if. Always the great What If. What if we’d known each other a year ago? What if we’d had an actual chance to date, instead just drawing out our goodbyes? What if we made a run at it from a distance? What if we’d held hands and wandered the waterfront with our trusty border collie, Mr. Chips?
And it was silly. Because I was silly. I am silly. I know this, I embrace it, sometimes I love it. I was leaving town, and she was set to leave as well, just a few weeks later. It couldn’t have worked in any long term sense. We’re different people headed in different directions, there was no future. Though maybe, if at the end of the summer, and I’m ready to split Minneapolis, and she’s figuring out her long term…
No. That’s no way to live life. Which is why it’s alright to think about the here and the now sometimes, regardless of the long term prospects. Fuck long term prospects. To live life by long term prospects is to disqualify a perfectly fantastic experience in the here and the now. And I’m very much living my life for the experience. For the here and the now. And I’m happy doing it.
She was tough with me, and brushed off the sweetest of compliments with a shrug, though her eyes gave her away. They lit up when she smiled and when she laughed, and especially when she called me ridiculous. I know how these things work. I am ridiculous. Eventually we’ll fade, and that’s alright. She’ll still make me smile, regardless of what she’s up to in the long term. And that’s the important part.
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