Here’s To Now.

I know it’s been a long time since I left you…without a dope beat to step to…

It turns out, I remember how to write. I know it’s been awhile, and I’m sorry about that. If you’re a regular reader, then you’re my best friend. And I’m your biggest fan. Truth be told, I’ve been busy. Not with anything in particular, but just with life. My life is so outstanding right now, I’m not sure I have the words to do it justice. Sometimes we all need to step back from ourselves and just appreciate life. That’s where I am right now, that’s what I’ve been up to.

It’s nearly three am, and I’m in Thailand. I’ve smoked most of a pack of cigarettes, I’ve drank some beer, and then some whiskey, and my fingers demanded that I type something, right now. Sleep will come, because it always does. For me, it’s usually in short spurts, because I’m still young enough to feel like sleep is a necessary waste of time. I’m fearful that when I’m asleep, I’m missing something. And I don’t want to miss a thing. Ever.

I want to take your hand and run into the surf, it’s like bathwater here. I want to sing to you. Beautiful, fragile songs that I can only sing at 3 am, on the beach, someplace tropical. One time songs, made up on the spot, about life and love, and everything that makes us the same more than it makes us different.

Pause for whiskey. Light a smoke.

Be envious of me, and my tiny, disappearing bank account. And my smiles at strangers who don’t speak English. Tell some local she’s beautiful, in her own language, just to get a laugh and a smile in return.

Every moment of every day, we have a chance to do something outstanding. Something beautiful. I’m trying my best to make it all count. At the end of the day, that’s all we’ve got. Our smiles, our friends, our adventures.

Its 3 am, and it’s still so hot outside. I’m sitting on the deck of a little bungalow, I can still hear the party going a few blocks over, but I don’t miss it. I can also hear the waves crashing onto the beach, even closer than they are. Tonight is not for them, tonight is for me. Tonight is for starring into the surf and dreaming, for wondering. To be curious about what she’s up to, but not to dwell on it. To know that things work out more often than not, and when they don’t…well, that’s life too. To never get too high, and to never worry too hard when things get low. Things will always get low, and it’s a shame that this is what we remember most clearly.

There is beauty everywhere, and I’ve been happy everywhere. On the beach in the tropics, or in the downtown slums, my smile is the same, because the beauty is the same. We just have to take the time to recognize it.

Let’s stay up all night tonight, finish off this whiskey at sunrise. Listen to good music until then.

Here’s to now. Right fucking now.

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10 responses to “Here’s To Now.

  1. I’m only glad to see something new, regardless of how long it has been. Poignant and awesome post, as always.

  2. Beautiful. I envy you being able to live in the now.

  3. Sawadee kaa! Drink some Sangsom for me, darling. Your present sounds divine and I am envious.

    • sawadee krapt! coon suwhy! (ok, i know that’s not how its spelled, i don’t actually know how to spell it)

      • Sawadee krup (is how we used to spell it) but… Coon suwhy? I need help with that one! What little Thai I learnt has been forgotten! Oh- korb kun kha!

  4. Life is beautiful, good for you Sean. Your bank account may be dwindling but at least you’ve got your whiskey, smokes, adventures and of course friends. Can’t wait to see you again, when your adventures bring you back to MN.

  5. “Every moment of every day, we have a chance to do something outstanding.”

    Fantastic. You have such a unique voice! I wish I got to read more about your adventures along the way, but maybe that’s what makes each post so special.

    Keep living & keep writing about it.

  6. Have missed your posts, but enjoy each and every one. Happy Trails! wherever you go.

  7. THIS is why I gave you a (silly) award about being an Inspirational blogger.

    You’re amazing. Enjoy every single second.

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