Wandering Aimlessly

Nights like these were made to be shared. Meant to be enjoyed, embraced, experienced together with your favorites in the world. These crisp winter nights in Portland are meant to be walked around in, and if you’re as lucky as I am, to be enjoyed with a cutie brunette at your side.

The city is alive with the hustle of office workers on their way home complemented by last minute holiday shoppers, and those like us, just out enjoying the scene. We pause at a cross walk, waiting for the light, and she looks up at me with her beautiful brown eyes and smiles. We don’t say much on these walks, we don’t need to. Side by side, the company is right, and the night is right, and sometimes that’s enough. Sometimes that’s exactly what we need in life.

The city is beautiful tonight. All the storefronts decorated, and the trees lit up; and though neither of us particularly enjoy the Christmas season, it’s impossible not to appreciate it tonight. We pause again, still not speaking, yet understanding each other perfectly. No destination tonight as we wander aimlessly through the park blocks and downtown, lost in our own thoughts, but still comfortably together.

I wonder about her sometimes. She’s a creature of routine and habit, and she seems to find comfort in that. For the first time in my life, I’m beginning to see its appeal. It wouldn’t be so bad to settle down in one place for awhile, to go on these walks with regularity. I’ve been scared of commitment since I was 17, but for once, I can see the joy in it. Perhaps I’m ready to get off the road, to settle down, to put down roots, together, with her. All my best friends are getting married and becoming adults, and finally, I think I see what it is I’m missing with all my random traveling. Perhaps there’s a beauty in familiarity, and perhaps it’s even better than the excitement of someone new.

We stop at another light, and she looks at me and smiles. There’s something in her teeth, and yet that makes her all the more adorable. She’s been in this city longer than I have, but walking around with her at night, it feels like home. Perhaps this life isn’t so bad; perhaps this is something I could get used to, perhaps its time to grow up.

And get a dog.

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7 responses to “Wandering Aimlessly

  1. Big smile. Those eyes are pretty adorable, aren’t they?

  2. You had me going for a moment. I was thinking, who is this mythic woman who doesn’t expect you to buy a round of coffee after four blocks? Doesn’t complain about her feet after eight blocks? And doesn’t ask you to carry her home after 12?

  3. Chris Miller (@christopherdan)

    Ahhh, Sean has a crush on my dog. That’s cute. Sort of weird but mostly cute. Drop in anytime you want to take Kona for a walk, even just to pick up chicks at PSU. She’s cool like that.

  4. stephaniecapstick

    This post is great. Makes me think. Is it true you always want what you can’t have, or don’t appreciate what you do have when you have it? I would wonder what type of dog you would get and why Mr. Brown don’t you like the christmas season, just curious?….no answer required of course. I hope you enjoy your walks in Portland, we are heading to AZ in two hours. Hugs from the Capsticks and warm wishes to you and yours.

  5. you were right, it was a good one. 🙂

  6. You may not know it to look at me, but there is much I can relate to in this post! Like yourself, I was a traveler for many years…and like you, I eventually began to see that “perhaps there’s a beauty in familiarity, and perhaps it’s even better than the excitement of someone new.”

    John & I just celebrated our 16th anniversary, and there is *great* beauty in this familiarity. 🙂

    Happy New Year, Sean! Didn’t want to stop by without wishing you well–got a Christmas card photo from your mom & you all looked GREAT. Makes me want to go to New Zealand…but then, that’s nothing new.

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